stupid people on myspace

Random Myspace Pic

2007-07-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

Slingshot Shooters

2007-07-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

This is Gregory.
Gregory is the leader of the
"Slingshot Shooters" Myspace group.
He is also the only member.

Mother Sexy Bitch

2007-07-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

This is Margarita. She is 45 years old and lives in The Bronx. She is a mother to three children. Her headline is "Mother Sexy Bitch." She loves vampires (see previous post) and enjoys writing poetry. She says she doesn't drink alcohol but her favorite beer is Corona. She has a taste for "sexy" lingerie and bondage gear. She also enjoys posing for pictures in her kitchen and bathroom. Here's to you, Margarita!

Best. Background. Ever.

2007-07-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

I saw this beauty tiled across the page of Margarita.

A Random Myspace Pic

2007-07-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

Another Stupid Myspace Graphic

2007-07-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

Another Stupid Myspace Group

2007-07-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

Cutters Corner

What makes this little group especially stupid is that they claim they are not pro-cutting. Uh, Cutters Corner? That sounds pretty fucking pro-cutting to me.

Here is one of their thread topics:

What Do You Do?

after you cut what do you do? do you put anything on your cuts? do you put bandages on them? last time i did i took a napkin and scrubbed the dry blood so my cuts would keep bleeding. i've put like hair spray and perfume on it cause i heard that it makes it all puffy. but that didnt work for me. but i usually just cut and let it bleed till it scabs up. i dont really do anything.

Hey, this all reminds me of a one-liner I heard the other day.

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

The 'not stupid' profile of the week

2007-07-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I come across clever Myspace profiles and I feel that there is perhaps hope for society. I decided that it would only be fair if I reported on those as well. Here is Tits MaGhee. She's a raucous girl who likes to have fun. She's witty and interesting and her pictures make me laugh. But really, I just like the name Tits MaGhee.

Random Myspace Pics

2007-07-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

I suddenly love my life.

EDIT - I got a comment scolding me for mocking those with down syndrome. I assure you, this woman does NOT have down syndrome. I can't find the link to her page at the moment but believe me, she just looks that way. Her hobbies were listed as eating french fries and taking sex surveys. How could I not make fun of this?

Gay man defends being a Christian and Republican

2007-07-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

This 39 year old gay man says his heroes are Rush Limbaugh, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. What can I possibly say about this? I'm truly baffled. Perhaps he doesn't know that his heroes are (or were) gay-bashing idiots? Moron.

Another Stupid Graphic

2007-07-10T08:38:00.001-07:00

Random Myspace Pic

2007-07-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

Homely woman believes she is "the perfect model"

2007-07-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

About me:

I'm a little over six feet tall, slender build, with long, thick, awesome hair...I have an interest in fashion and modeling... Honestly, I don't really know who I am right now...That pretty smile I wear, I'm trying to find it on the inside some where. I hit an emotional bottom following a kidney infection this last month; the kidney infection wasn't the main cause - it was the final let down...

Pretty smile? Gag. Kidney Infection? Way too much information. The little pink panties are prettier than she is. The construction theme is atrocious.

So, all she really talks about is being a model. She brags throughout her blog that she is a cover girl for several Myspace groups. "The Most Beautiful Woman on Myspace" being one of them. Um, are these people blind? Yes, this woman is skinny. Yes, this woman has lots of blonde hair.

But there's also the matter of her ghastly face. It could stop a clock. Her overworked ego doesn't do much to help her either. She's ugly inside and out.

In her blog posts she talks about her current boyfriend. It's been six months and he's just so great for her. But she feels it necessary to add this little tidbit at the end of her proclamation of romantic bliss:

There are people that tell me left and right they don't understand why I'm with him, or they think I'm way out of his league

Four days later she stumbles upon her ex's Myspace page and writes an in depth plea for him to come back to her:
You might where a mask, well, I where a pretty smile, tan, the perfect cover up to the perfect model to the most unperfect dying heart inside who's so miserable...
Did she refer to herself as "The perfect model?" She goes on to tell him that the doctors prescribed her Morphine for her severe depression. Morphine for depression? Riiiiight. She ends her plea by posting a picture of her naked back. I'm guessing that's her best angle.

Don't hold your breath for the Sports Illustrated cover, Honey.

Another Stupid Myspace Graphic

2007-07-06T13:35:00.001-07:00

Huh?

Random Myspace Pic

2007-07-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

His headline is "LATIN LOVER...TO HOT..."

The not stupid myspace profile of the week

2007-07-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I come across clever Myspace profiles and I feel that there is perhaps hope for society. I decided that it would only be fair if I reported on those as well. Here is Uggface. "An uggface for Myspace..." Totally awesome.

White girl in Alabama speaks ebonics

2007-07-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

This young lady believes she is cooler than you. She lives in Alabama and attends beauty school. She's fluent in ebonics and is "tired of hatin bitches." She likes to get drunk and she swings both ways. Her Myspace headline is "Lets do some drugs and fall in love."

A notable quote from her blog: "Hatin me like u know me, Bitch u dont know shit. IN my eye's thats a hoe move,Like a rat suckin a dirty nigga's dick." Did I mention that she writes poetry? Oh yes indeed, she is quite full of surprises. The following is a poignant piece from our aspiring poet.

Once upon
A time
There was
Truth to the
Myth of what
You
And I
Had found
In a blank page
Fairy tale.
Snow White
Doesn't sleep
In a casket made of
Glass
Slippers will break
If you wear them.
Walk across this
Written word
With fingers
Gently
Seeking
Loving
You
And me
No more.
He loves
Me
He loves me!
Not
Enough.
To:
My Valentine
Will you
Be mine
No longer . . .

Fucking classic.

Ferrets Own My Soul: A Look in to Furry Subculture

2007-07-03T14:37:00.000-07:00

This young man tells the world "Ferrets own my soul" on his Myspace page.

"My name be Travis, but my fursona name is Harley, so call me by that. I'm gay and i'm a furry, and i'm learning witchcraft. Don't ask me about my religion, cause you won't get an answer. If you're here to judge me or put me down, keep going cause you can't hurt me. I'm proud of who I am and I don't give a damn what you close-minded fools have to say. I LOVE to roleplay. My species is ferret, if you couldn't guess...i'm looking to make some more furry friends"

Why in the world would anyone ever make fun of this guy? Oh yeah, he's hot for ferrets.

Another Stupid Group

2007-07-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

Pop That Collar

"Many Americans are confused concerning the real definition of a popped collar. In short, a collar has been popped when the wearer flips it up, so that it no longer rests on one's shoulders. It frames the face, and hides much of the neck. Many poppers nonchalantly flip their collars up, allowing the adjunct flap of fabric to slouch as it pleases, to create a vibe of coolness. Some fastidiously iron said accessory, opting for a slick, polished look."

There are over 16,000 people in this group. Yikes.

Teen girl proud to be in love with an ex-con

2007-07-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

And not just any ex-con. This girl is in love with John Fonseca (see previous post)

Here is a personal letter she wrote to a friend. Myspace is a place to broadcast personal letters to friends. Didn't you know?

Gurl, you should already know you are my nigga for life. I know we don't talk as much as we used to talk, but I always wondering bout cha. My nigga is gonna be a mommy! STEPH, you betta know I'ma always be there for you and that kid. I wish Anthony and you the best of luck. I hope this really is the real deal for you. I've ALWAYS seen you with a broken heart. It's about time one of these dudes make mah gurl satisfied. You are so much like me. I'm so glad Adrian did what he did. I'd rather have you as a friend than AJ as a boyfriend ANYDAY! I hope our friendship lasts forever. I hope we both have boo-ku kids, and I hope they become friends as well. I can't wait to turn 18. I hope you know I'm callin your ass! LOL We are gonna tear da club up. Yeah, boys distract me from what's TRULY important sometimes, but I never forget what's real. You are one of my realest friends. I hope we stay friends through whatever rides life puts us on. I'm so happy that you're excited about your pregnancy. I would never want you to stress about something like that. I'll always be here for you.

Touching. Truly touching. Anyhow, her future looks so bright with her recent graduation from high school (notice the proud graduation pic) and her excitement over starting college. And yet, there's also the matter of her being in love with an ex-con. Oh, and how she dumbs herself up in order to fit in. I'll keep you posted as the saga unfolds.

Moronic teen demands we fear him as "superiour"

2007-07-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

Who is John Fonseco's hero? Here's what he had to say.

"god .no amount of joy will ever realase the pain i have felt for my family .just because of my race people think thier better than me .i am a equial just like you .only god can judge me you do not know what kind of torment i have in side of me. the place i live is a illisoun a place of hate you know no pain like i do. you mean nothing to my meaning of life .what i do is out of ur hands so fear me as a superiour" ----john fonseca---6/15/2006 9:33pm

Random Myspace Pic of the Day

2007-07-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

Another Stupid Group

2007-07-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

Talk Like a Pirate Day

International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Wow.

Illiterate woman is turned on by adult diapers and her period

2007-07-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

This Myspace page is a thing of disturbing beauty. Note the "erotic stories."

Random Myspace Pic of the Day

2007-07-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Another Stupid Graphic

2007-07-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

Classy Bitch? Seriously?

Another Stupid Group

2007-06-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM DOING NURSING!!

Um, why would anyone stop you?

Another Stupid Graphic

2007-06-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

This is such a pathetic state of mind. Why would anyone flaunt it?

Random Myspace Pic of the Day

2007-06-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

Lame guy equates S&M with peace rallies...

2007-06-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

This guy has a "Unstoppable Determination to Succeed." Apparently not when it comes to grammar though.

His Interests?

Anything and everything EXCEPT weird shit. i.e. sm, gothic, peace rallies, enviornmentalist... etc...

Yeah, those environmentalists...they sure are freaky...

Another Stupid Group

2007-06-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Global Warming Hoax

I truly don't know what to say. Do people like this really exist? Apparently 17,000 of them do. Yikes.

Another Stupid Graphic

2007-06-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

Uhhhh, yeah you do.

Random Myspace Pic of the Day

2007-06-28T09:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not stupid! I swear!

2007-06-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

This guy loves God, women and beer. The first thing that caught my eye was, “Questions Intellectuals Ask About Christianity.”

Q: How could any intelligent 20th century person believe that Jesus rose physically from the dead?

A: If Jesus remained dead, why did 500 people say they saw Him alive (see I Corinthians 15:6)?

I love how this article cites the Bible as a source of historical fact. Brilliant answer!

Our friend also felt it necessary to share this bit of info:

I graduated 104th out of 620 with a 3.5 GPA, and got a 1330 on my SAT's

Oh really? Wow. Thanks for sharing. What is this? A job application?

The best is the boring video where he talks in to a camera about, what else? Himself. Yawn.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

2007-06-27T19:16:00.001-07:00

This guy is 43 years old. He's the lead singer in a death metal band, boasts being anti-authority and lists his religion as Wiccan. And yet he's a hardcore Republican? He's also a white supremacist who advertises being "100% Sociopath." He's fascinated with nazi's and serial killers.

His most overused IM phrase is "Let's Fuck!"